Poopermint Patty

This story starts out as many do - inebriated. A handful of us made it to the local pub and began a proper night of debauchery with close friends which would end up, not beknownst to any of us at the time, giving us the greatest story any man can have in his arsenal against his friends. Its that story that keeeeeeps on giving. So by the end of the night Danny had had a tough night of drinking and taking endless crap about this or that. So when the tab came he decided to cover the whole thing in an act of drunken Spanish machoness towards the now-sexy waitress. I believe he even dropped her 40% for tip. Ever since that night, we got great service from her(wonder why) and danny would get the occasional flirt session.

One night, Danny and Case decide to go to the local meat market where Patty(pub girl) was sitting in the corner by herself getting her drink on. Danny sits down after a little encouragement(beer) and talks with her and shortly after they leave together.. bound for the poo town. Daniel serviced the cute waitress well. is it well or is it good? well... she took it good. Better than a jiffy lube tech. All's well in the dump of a studio but mid-pump Danny thinks he hears a request for Analville. He thinks to himself. ''No, that can't be". Moves along and thinks nothing of it. Minutes later he hears the request loud as day. So, without hesitation, in the dark of night(I shit you not) he finds the hole like Little Jack Horner. So there he is pumpin away in a fury of Spanish passion on this sphincter. Only it was tainted by the dirty thumb staring back at him asking ''why?''. In a frenzied state he wiped the dirty digit on her sheets. It was too late. now he had caaca on his thumb, the sheets, and his weiner. it could get no worse. Whilst powering through this soon-t0-be tragic event, Poopermint Patty's dog decided to join in the fun. The little dog (a beagle if i remember correctly) jumps on the bed and starts to lick the Dan's asshole. I assume he used the flipper on the beagle but this time it would have been called the dirty flipper. I wonder if thats what scared off the dog. It was all he could do to finish up and then curl into the fetal position and reflect on what a $40 dollar tip did to him. I must mention that the night was filled with vile smells an awkward snores under those sheets.

He sneaks out the next morning only to realize later he left his $40 Kangol there. He calls and texts her but gets no response. Finally he sends a mean hateful text to her because of this. Come to find out, she was in Jamaica for the week. Funny, we got pretty bad service from her after that.

About 3 months later we were sitting there and I am telling the story (one of my fav stories to tell) to dannys brother. He says "ill get your hat back" and walks up to poopermint. He tells her "hey, im danny's brother, and I think he left his hat at your house. I need to get it back, its actually my hat". She replies "It burned up in a house fire".

The lesson learned from this is machoness can cost you as much as $80 and bad service.